Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
