Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
jump out the window naked night went bad
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