babies were throwing up all over the place
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
