I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
