I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
