She's JV to your varsity
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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