sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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