So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
