Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
