i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
