i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
