Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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