Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
