$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
we should paint friendship bongs
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
