Dual....:-)
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
