Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
