My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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