so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
