I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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