I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
