When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
