There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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