i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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