oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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