just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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