I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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