TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
