She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
