This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
