Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
