just come out here and I will go home with you...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
