i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
