dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
