Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
