The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
