Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
