Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
farters have to be the big spoon...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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