I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm like, not good at living.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
