Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
