none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
