we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
