dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
