I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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