Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't deserve a penis
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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