Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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