I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
