I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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