Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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