I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
