UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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