So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
