Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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